Est. day 30 · Owned by us
Building tomorrow.Owning it.
Steinreich Industries is the world's leading provider of stone, land, villagers and inevitability. We are not a monopoly. There is simply no one left to compete with.
Trusted by industry leaders
- Villagers*
- Pillagers
- The Wandering Trader
- Iron Golems
- The Ender Dragon (posthumously)
*Trust acquired through M.V.T.T.E.R. See Steinreich Labs.
01What we do
Four divisions. One owner.
Steinreich Mining
Every block of stone on the server is already ours. Some of it just doesn't know yet.
Steinreich Trade
We have bought every villager's loyalty. Prices are now set by a committee of one.
Steinreich Estates
Your house sits on land we lease to you for free. For now. Read clause 7(b).
Steinreich Expansion
The Overworld was step one. The Nether was step two. The End is a formality.
02Now with AI
AI in everything. Everything in AI.
We put artificial intelligence into every product, every process and several people. Results may vary. Resistance may not.
SteinGPT™
Writes your thoughts before you have them. Saves you the trouble.
Predictive Mining™
Our AI knows where the diamonds are. It also knows where you are.
Synergy Engine™
Leverages blockchain-native, cloud-first, AI-driven paradigms. Nobody knows what it does. It's doing great.
Auto-Consent™
Agrees to our terms on your behalf. You're welcome.
03Steinreich Labs
M.V.T.T.E.R.
Why trade with villagers when you can make them? Developed in secret by Steinreich Labs, M.V.T.T.E.R. produces fully grown, fully loyal villagers on demand. No beds. No breeding. No questions.
- One villager every 4 seconds
- Pre-installed loyalty firmware
- Comes with a profession (assigned)
- 100% ethically sourced* (*see Ethics department)
MVTTER-01 // STATUSONLINE
> initializing emergence chamber… ok
> loading villager template v7.3… ok
> installing loyalty firmware… ok
> removing free will… ok
> villagers produced today: 21,600
> complaints received: 0 (filter active)
> WARNING: emerald supply critical. expanding.
04Total Security™
We're watching. So you don't have to.
24/7 surveillance
Every block, every chest, every sleep. For your safety.
Zero trust
We trust no one. Especially you.
End-to-end ownership
Your data is encrypted, then owned. By us.
Military-grade
We don't know what it means either, but it's on everything.
05Investor relations
World domination progress
4.2B
Blocks owned
312
Hostile takeovers
All
Lawsuits won
None
Ethics department
06Testimonials
Our customers love us. Legally.
“Steinreich changed my life. I am no longer allowed to leave it.”
“Hmm.”
“I was skeptical at first. Then I was acquired.”
07Leadership
The people in charge. Of everything.
Chief Executive Officer
exyaa
Founded Steinreich on day 30 with a pickaxe and a dream. Now owns the pickaxe factory and the dream.
Chief Operating Officer
marzeschwein
Keeps the machine running. Is, according to some reports, part of the machine.
Board of Directors
The Copper Golems
Twelve copper golems, elected unanimously by themselves. They press buttons at random and every vote passes. Oxidation is considered seniority.
08 · Careers
Join us.
You don't have a choice, but we like to pretend you do.
Benefits include a pickaxe, a bed (shared), and the knowledge that you are on the winning side of history. Applications are reviewed by our Chief Executive Duck.